Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal Chapter 19

Chapter 19 Another day spent wandering the city with the angel, another dream of the woman standing at the foot of my bed, and I awoke finally – after all these years – to understand what Joshua must have felt, at least at times, as the only one of his kind. I know he said again and again that he was the son of man, born of a woman, one of us, but it was the paternal part of his heritage that made him different. Now, since I'm fairly sure I am the only person walking the earth who was doing so two thousand years ago, I have an acute sense of what it is to be unique, to be the one and only. It's lonely. That's why Joshua went into those mountains so often, and stayed so long in the company of the creature. Last night I dreamed that the angel was talking to someone in the room while I slept. In the dream I heard him say, â€Å"Maybe it would be best just to kill him when he finishes. Snap his neck, shove him into a storm sewer.† Strange, though, there wasn't the least bit of malice in the angel's voice. On the contrary, he sounded very forlorn. That's how I know it was a dream. I never thought I'd be happy to get back to the monastery, but after trudging through the snow for half the day, the dank stone walls and dark hallways were as welcoming as a warmly lit hearth. Half of the rice we had collected as alms was immediately boiled, then packed into bamboo cylinders about a hand wide and as long as a man's leg, then half of the root vegetables were stored away while the rest were packed into satchels along with some salt and more bamboo cylinders filled with cold tea. We had just enough time to chase the chill out of our limbs by the cook fires, then Gaspar had us take up the cylinders and the satchels and he led us out into the mountains. I had never noticed when the other monks left on the pilgrimage of secret meditation that they were carrying so much food. And with all this food, much more than we could eat in the four or five days we were gone, why had Joshua and I been training for this by fasting? Traveling higher into the mountains was actually easier for a while, as the snow had been blown off the trail. It was when we came to the high plateaus where the yak grazed and the snow drifted that the going became difficult. We took turns at the head of the line, plowing a trail through the snow. As we climbed, the air became so thin that even the highly conditioned monks had to stop frequently to catch their breaths. At the same time, the wind bit through our robes and leggings as if they weren't there. That there was not enough air to breathe, yet the movement of the air would chill our bones, I suppose is ironic, yet I was having a hard time appreciating it even then. I said, â€Å"Why couldn't you just go to the rabbis and learn to be the Messiah like everyone else? Do you remember any snow in the story of Moses? No. Did the Lord appear to Moses in the form of a snow bank? I don't think so. Did Elijah ascend to heaven on a chariot of ice? Nope. Did Daniel come forth unharmed from a blizzard? No. Our people are about fire, Joshua, not ice. I don't remember any snow in all of the Torah. The Lord probably doesn't even go to places where it snows. This is a huge mistake, we never should have come, we should go home as soon as this is over, and in conclusion, I can't feel my feet.† I was out of breath and wheezing. â€Å"Daniel didn't come forth from the fire,† Joshua said calmly. â€Å"Well, who can blame him, it was probably warm in there.† â€Å"He came forth unharmed from the lion's den,† said Josh. â€Å"Here,† said Gaspar, stopping any further discussion. He put down his parcels and sat down. â€Å"Where?† I said. We were under a low overhang, out of the wind, and mostly out of the snow, but it was hardly what you could call shelter. Still, the other monks, including Joshua, shed their packs and sat, affecting the meditation posture and holding their hands in the mudra of all-giving compassion (which, strangely enough, is the same hand gesture that modern people use for â€Å"okay.† Makes you think). â€Å"We can't be here. There's no here here,† I said. â€Å"Exactly,† said Gaspar. â€Å"Contemplate that.† So I sat. Joshua and the others seemed impervious to the cold and as frost formed on my eyelashes and clothing, the light dusting of ice crystals that covered the ground and rocks around each of them began to melt, as if there was a flame burning inside of them. Whenever the wind died, I noticed steam rising off of Gaspar as his damp robe gave up its moisture to the chill air. When Joshua and I first learned to meditate, we had been taught to be hyperaware of everything around us, connected, but the state that my fellow monks were in now was one of trance, of separation, of exclusion. They had each constructed some sort of mental shelter in which they were happily sitting, while I, quite literally, was freezing to death. â€Å"Joshua, I need a little help here,† I said, but my friend didn't move a muscle. If it weren't for the steady stream of his breath I would have thought him frozen himself. I tapped him on the shoulder, but received no response whatsoever. I tried to get the attention of each of the other four monks, but they too gave no reaction to my prodding. I even pushed Gaspar hard enough to knock him over, yet he stayed in the sitting position, looking like a statue of the Buddha that had tumbled from its pedestal. Still, as I touched each of my companions I could feel the heat coming off of him. Since it was obvious that I wasn't going to learn how to reach this trance state in time to save my own life, my only alternative was to take advantage of theirs. At first I arranged the monks in a large pile, trying to keep the elbows and knees out of the eyes and yarbles, out of respect and in the spirit of the infinitely compassionate Buddha and stuff. Although the warmth coming off them was impressive, I found that I could only keep one side of me warm at a time. Soon, by arranging my friends in a circle facing outward, and sitting in the middle, I was able to construct an envelope of comfort that kept the chill at bay. Ideally, I could have used a couple of more monks to stretch over the top of my hut to block the wind, but as the Buddha said, life is suffering and all, so I suffered. After I heated some tea on Number Seven monk's head and tucked one of the cylinders of rice under Gaspar's arm until it was warm, I was able to enjoy a pleasant repast and dropped off to sleep with a full belly. I awoke to what sounded like the entire Roman army trying to slurp the anchovies out of the Mediterranean Sea. When I opened my eyes I saw the source of the noise and nearly tumbled over backward trying to back away. A huge, furry creature, half again as tall as any man I had ever seen was trying to slurp the tea out of one of the bamboo cylinders, but the tea had frozen to slush and the creature looked as if he might suck the top of his head in if he continued. Yes, he looked sort of like a man, except his entire body was covered with a long white fur. His eyes were as large as a cow's, with crystal blue irises and pinpoint pupils. Thick black eyelashes knitted together when he blinked. He had long black nails on his hands, which were similar to a man's except twice the size, and the only clothing he wore at all were some sort of boots that looked to be made of yak skin. The impressive array of tackle swinging between the creature's legs tipped me off to his maleness. I looked around at the circle of monks to see if anyone had noticed that our supplies were being raided by a woolly beast, but they were all deeply entranced. The creature slurped again from the cylinder, then pounded on the side of it with his hand, as if to dislodge the contents, then looked at me as if asking for help. Whatever terror I felt melted away the second I looked into the creature's eyes. There wasn't the hint of aggression there, not a glint of violence or threat. I picked up the cylinder of tea that I had heated on Number Three's head. It sloshed in my hand, indicating that it hadn't frozen during my nap, so I held it out to the creature. He reached over Joshua's head and took the cylinder, pulled the cork from the end, and drank greedily. I took the moment to kick my friend in the kidney. â€Å"Josh, snap out of it. You need to see this.† I got no response, so I reached around and pinched my friend's nostrils shut. To master meditation the student must first master his breath. The savior made a snorting sound and came out of his trance gasping and twisting in my grip. He was facing me when I finally let go. â€Å"What?† Josh said. I pointed behind him and Joshua turned around to witness the full glory of the big furry white guy. â€Å"Holy moly!† Big Furry jumped back cradling his tea like a threatened infant and made some vocalization which wasn't quite language. (But if it had been, it would probably have translated as â€Å"Holy Moly,† as well.) It was nice to see Joshua's masterful control slip to reveal a vulnerable underbelly of confusion. â€Å"What†¦I mean who†¦I mean, what is that?† â€Å"Not a Jew,† I said helpfully, pointing to about a yard of foreskin. â€Å"Well, I can see it's not a Jew, but that doesn't narrow it down much, does it?† Strangely, I seemed to be enjoying this much more than my two semi-terrified cohorts. â€Å"Well, do you remember when Gaspar gave us the rules of the monastery, and we wondered about the one that said we were not to kill a human or someone like a human?† â€Å"Yes?† â€Å"Well, he's someone like a human, I guess.† â€Å"Okay.† Joshua climbed to his feet and looked at Big Furry. Big Furry straightened up and looked at Joshua, tilting his head from side to side. Joshua smiled. Big Furry smiled back. Black lips, really long sharp canines. â€Å"Big teeth,† I said. â€Å"Very big teeth.† Joshua held his hand out to the creature. The creature reached out to Joshua and ever so gently took the Messiah's smaller hand in his great paw†¦and wrenched Joshua off his feet, catching him in a hug and squeezing him so hard that his beatific eyes started to bug out. â€Å"Help,† squeaked Joshua. The creature licked the top of Joshua's head with a long blue tongue. â€Å"He likes you,† I said. â€Å"He's tasting me,† Joshua said. I thought of how my friend had fearlessly yanked the tail of the demon Catch, of how he had faced so many dangers with total calm. I thought of the times he had saved me, both from outside dangers and from myself, and I thought of the kindness in his eyes that ran deeper than sea, and I said: â€Å"Naw, he likes you.† I thought I'd try another language to see if the creature might better comprehend my meaning: â€Å"You like Joshua, don't you? Yes you do. Yes you do. He wuvs his widdle Joshua. Yes he does.† Baby talk is the universal language. The words are different, but the meaning and sound is the same. The creature nuzzled Joshua up under its chin, then licked his head again, this time leaving a steaming trail of green-tea-stained saliva behind on my friend's scalp. â€Å"Yuck,† said Joshua. â€Å"What is this thing?† â€Å"It's a yeti,† said Gaspar from behind me, obviously having been roused from his trance. â€Å"An abominable snowman.† â€Å"This is what happens when you fuck a sheep!?† I exclaimed. â€Å"Not an abomination,† Josh said, â€Å"abominable.† The yeti licked him on the cheek. Joshua tried to push away. To Gaspar he said, â€Å"Am I in danger?† Gaspar shrugged. â€Å"Does a dog have a Buddha nature?† â€Å"Please, Gaspar,† Joshua said. â€Å"This is a question of practical application, not spiritual growth.† The yeti sighed and licked Josh's cheek again. I guessed that the creature must have a tongue as rough as a cat's, as Joshua's cheek was going pink with abrasion. â€Å"Turn the other cheek, Josh,† I said. â€Å"Let him wear the other one out.† â€Å"I'm going to remember this,† Joshua said. â€Å"Gaspar, will he harm me?† â€Å"I don't know. No one has ever gotten that close to him before. Usually he comes while we are in trance and disappears with the food. We are lucky to even get a glimpse of him.† â€Å"Put me down, please,† said Josh to the creature. â€Å"Please put me down.† The yeti set Joshua back on his feet on the ground. By this time the other monks were coming out of their trances. Number Seventeen squealed like a frying squirrel when he saw the yeti so close. The yeti crouched and bared his teeth. â€Å"Stop that!† barked Joshua to Seventeen. â€Å"You're scaring him.† â€Å"Give him some rice,† said Gaspar. I took the cylinder I had warmed and handed it to the yeti. He popped off the top and began scooping out rice with a long finger, licking the grains off his fingers like they were termites about to make their escape. Meanwhile Joshua backed away from the yeti so that he stood beside Gaspar. â€Å"This is why you come here? Why after alms you carry so much food up the mountain?† Gaspar nodded. â€Å"He's the last of his kind. He has no one to help him gather food. No one to talk to.† â€Å"But what is he? What is a yeti?† â€Å"We like to think of him as a gift. He is a vision of one of the many lives a man might live before he reaches nirvana. We believe he is as close to a perfect being as can be achieved on this plane of existence.† â€Å"How do you know he is the only one?† â€Å"He told me.† â€Å"He talks?† â€Å"No, he sings. Wait.† As we watched the yeti eat, each of the monks came forward and put his cylinders of food and tea in front of the creature. The yeti looked up from his eating only occasionally, as if his whole universe resided in that bamboo pipe full of rice, yet I could tell that behind those ice-blue eyes the creature was counting, figuring, rationing the supplies we had brought. â€Å"Where does he live?† I asked Gaspar. â€Å"We don't know. A cave somewhere, I suppose. He has never taken us there, and we don't look for it.† Once all the food was put before the yeti, Gaspar signaled to the other monks and they started backing out from under the overhang into the snow, bowing to the yeti as they went. â€Å"It is time for us to go,† Gaspar said. â€Å"He doesn't want our company.† Joshua and I followed our fellow monks back into the snow, following a path they were blazing back the way we had come. The yeti watched us leave, and every time I looked back he was still watching, until we were far enough away that he became little more than an outline against the white of the mountain. When at last we climbed out of the valley, and even the great sheltering overhang was out of sight, we heard the yeti's song. Nothing, not even the blowing of the ram's horn back home, not the war cries of bandits, not the singing of mourners, nothing I had ever heard had reached inside of me the way the yeti's song did. It was a high wailing, but with stops and pulses like the muted sound of a heart beating, and it carried all through the valley. The yeti held his keening notes far longer than any human breath could sustain. The effect was as if someone was emptying a huge cask of sadness down my throat until I thought I'd collapse or explode with the grief. It was the sound of a t housand hungry children crying, ten thousand widows tearing their hair over their husbands' graves, a chorus of angels singing the last dirge on the day of God's death. I covered my ears and fell to my knees in the snow. I looked at Joshua and tears were streaming down his cheeks. The other monks were hunched over as if shielding themselves from a hailstorm. Gaspar cringed as he looked at us, and I could see then that he was, indeed, a very old man. Not as old as Balthasar, perhaps, but the face of suffering was upon him. â€Å"So you see,† the abbot said, â€Å"he is the only one of his kind. Alone.† You didn't have to understand the yeti's language, if he had one, to know that Gaspar was right. â€Å"No he's not,† said Joshua. â€Å"I'm going to him.† Gaspar took Joshua's arm to stop him. â€Å"Everything is as it should be.† â€Å"No,† said Joshua. â€Å"It is not.† Gaspar pulled his hand back as if he had plunged it into a flame – a strange reaction, as I had actually seen the monk put his hand in flame with less reaction as part of the kung fu regimen. â€Å"Let him be,† I said to Gaspar, not sure at the time why I was doing it. Joshua headed back into the valley by himself, having not said another word to us. â€Å"He'll be back when it's time,† I said. â€Å"What do you know?† snapped Gaspar in a distinctly unenlightened way. â€Å"You'll be working off your karma for a thousand years as a dung beetle just to evolve to the point of being dense.† I didn't say anything. I simply bowed, then turned and followed my brother monks back to the monastery. It was a week before Joshua returned to us, and it was another day before he and I actually had time to speak. We were in the dining hall, and Joshua had eaten his own rice as well as mine. In the meantime, I had applied a lot of thought to the plight of the abominable snowman and, more important, to his origins. â€Å"Do you think there were a lot of them, Josh?† â€Å"Yes. Never as many as there are men, but there were many more.† â€Å"What happened to them?† â€Å"I'm not sure. When the yeti sings I see pictures in my head. I saw that men came to these mountains and killed the yeti. They had no instinct to fight. Most just stood in place and watched as they were slaughtered. Perplexed by man's evil. Others ran higher and higher into the mountains. I think that this one had a mate and a family. They starved or died of some slow sickness. I can't tell.† â€Å"Is he a man?† â€Å"I don't think he is a man,† said Joshua. â€Å"Is he an animal?† â€Å"No, I don't think he's an animal either. He knows who he is. He knows he is the only one.† â€Å"I think I know what he is.† Joshua regarded me over the rim of his bowl. â€Å"Well?† â€Å"Well, do you remember the monkey feet Balthasar bought from the old woman in Antioch, how they looked like little human feet?† â€Å"Yes.† â€Å"And you have to admit that the yeti looks very much like a man. More like a man than he does any other creature, right? Well, what if he is a creature who is becoming a man? What if he isn't really the last of his kind, but the first of ours? What made me think of it was how Gaspar talks about how we work off our karma in different incarnations, as different creatures. As we learn more in each lifetime we may become a higher creature as we go. Well, maybe creatures do that too. Maybe as the yeti needs to live where it is warmer he loses his fur. Or as the monkeys need to, I don't know, run cattle and sheep, they become bigger. Not all at once, but through many incarnations. Maybe creatures evolve the way Gaspar believes the soul evolves. What do you think?† Joshua stroked his chin for a moment and stared at me as if he was deep in thought, while at the same time I thought he might burst out laughing any second. I'd spent a whole week thinking about this. This theory had vexed me through all of my training, all of my meditations since we'd made the pilgrimage to the yeti's valley. I wanted some sort of acknowledgment from Joshua for my effort, if nothing else. â€Å"Biff,† he said, â€Å"that may be the dumbest idea you've ever had.† â€Å"So you don't think it's possible?† â€Å"Why would the Lord create a creature only to have it die out? Why would the Lord allow that?† Joshua said. â€Å"What about the flood? All but Noah and his family were killed.† â€Å"But that was because people had become wicked. The yeti isn't wicked. If anything, his kind have died out because they have no capacity for wickedness.† â€Å"So, you're the Son of God, you explain it to me.† â€Å"It is God's will,† said Joshua, â€Å"that the yeti disappear.† â€Å"Because they had no trace of wickedness?† I said sarcastically. â€Å"If the yeti isn't a man, then he's not a sinner either. He's innocent.† Joshua nodded, staring into his now-empty bowl. â€Å"Yes. He's innocent.† He stood and bowed to me, which was something he almost never did unless we were training. â€Å"I'm tired now, Biff. I have to sleep and pray.† â€Å"Sorry, Josh, I didn't mean to make you sad. I thought it was an interesting theory.† He smiled weakly at me, then bowed his head and shuffled off to his cell. Over the next few years Joshua spent at least a week out of every month in the mountains with the yeti, going up not only with every group after alms, but often going up into the mountains by himself for days or, in the summer, weeks at a time. He never talked about what he did while in the mountains, except, he told me, that the yeti had taken him to the cave where he lived and had shown him the bones of his people. My friend had found something with the yeti, and although I didn't have the courage to ask him, I suspect the bond he shared with the snowman was the knowledge that they were both unique creatures, nothing like either of them walked the face of the earth, and regardless of the connection each might feel with God and the universe, at that time, in that place, but for each other, they were utterly alone. Gaspar didn't forbid Joshua's pilgrimages, and indeed, he went out of his way to act as if he didn't notice when Twenty-Two Monk was gone, yet I could tell there was some unease in the abbot whenever Joshua was away. We both continued to drill on the posts, and after two years of leaping and balancing, dancing and the use of weapons were added to our routine. Joshua refused to take up any of the weapons; in fact, he refused to practice any art that would bring harm to another being. He wouldn't even mimic the action of fighting with swords and spears with a bamboo substitute. At first Gaspar bristled at Joshua's refusal, and threatened to banish him from the monastery, but when I took the abbot aside and told him the story of the archer Joshua had blinded on the way to Balthasar's fortress, the abbot relented. He and two of the older monks who had been soldiers devised for Joshua a regimen of weaponless fighting that involved no offense or striking at all, but instead channeled the energy of an attacker away from oneself. Since the new art was practiced only by Joshua (and sometimes myself), the monks called it Jew-d;, meaning the way of the Jew. In addition to learning kung fu and Jew-d;, Gaspar set us to learning to speak and write Sanskrit. Most of the holy books of Buddhism had been written in that language and had yet to be translated into Chinese, which Joshua and I had become fluent in. â€Å"This is the language of my boyhood,† Gaspar said before beginning our lessons. â€Å"You need to know this to learn the words of Gautama Buddha, but you will also need this language when you follow your dharma to your next destination.† Joshua and I looked at each other. It had been a long time since we had talked about leaving the monastery and the mention of it put us on edge. Routine feeds the illusion of safety, and if nothing else, there was routine at the monastery. â€Å"When will we leave, master?† I asked. â€Å"When it is time,† said Gaspar. â€Å"And how will we know it is time to leave?† â€Å"When the time for staying has come to an end.† â€Å"And we will know this because you will finally give us a straight and concrete answer to a question instead of being obtuse and spooky?† I asked. â€Å"Does the unhatched tadpole know the universe of the full-grown frog?† â€Å"Evidently not,† Joshua said. â€Å"Correct,† said the master. â€Å"Meditate upon it.† As Joshua and I entered the temple to begin our meditation I said, â€Å"When the time comes, and we know that the time has come for us to leave, I am going to lump up his shiny little head with a fighting staff.† â€Å"Meditate upon it,† said Josh. â€Å"I mean it. He's going to be sorry he taught me how to fight,† I said. â€Å"I'm sure of it. I'm sorry already.† â€Å"You know, he doesn't have to be the only one bopped in the noggin when noggin-boppin' time rolls around,† I said. Joshua looked at me as if I'd just awakened him from a nap. â€Å"All the time we spend meditating, what are you really doing, Biff?† â€Å"I'm meditating – sometimes – listening to the sound of the universe and stuff.† â€Å"But mostly you're just sitting there.† â€Å"I've learned to sleep with my eyes open.† â€Å"That won't help your enlightenment.† â€Å"Look, when I get to nirvana I want to be well rested.† â€Å"Don't spend a lot of time worrying about it.† â€Å"Hey, I have discipline. Through practice I've learned to cause spontaneous nocturnal emissions.† â€Å"That's an accomplishment,† the Messiah said sarcastically. â€Å"Okay, you can be snotty if you want to, but when we get back to Galilee, you walk around trying to sell your ‘love your neighbor because he is you' claptrap, and I'll offer the ‘wet dreams at will' program and we'll see who gets more followers.† Joshua grinned: â€Å"I think we'll both do better than my cousin John and his ‘hold them underwater until they agree with you' sermon.† â€Å"I haven't thought about him in years. Do you think he's still doing that?† Just then, Number Two Monk, looking very stern and unenlightened, stood and started across the temple toward us, his bamboo rod in hand. â€Å"Sorry, Josh, I'm going no-mind.† I dropped to the lotus position, formed the mudra of the compassionate Buddha with my fingers, and lickity-split was on the sitting-still road to oneness with allthatness. Despite Gaspar's veiled warning about our moving on, we again settled into a routine, this one including learning to read and write the sutras in Sanskrit, but also Joshua's time with the yeti. I had gotten so proficient in the martial arts that I could break a flagstone as thick as my hand with my head, and I could sneak up on even the most wary of the other monks, flick him on the ear, and be back in lotus position before he could spin to snatch the still-beating heart from my chest. (Actually, no one was really sure if anyone could do that. Every day Number Three Monk would declare it time for the â€Å"snatching the still-beating heart from the chest† drill, and every day he would ask for volunteers. After a brief wait, when no one volunteered, we'd move onto the next drill, usually the â€Å"maiming a guy with a fan† drill. Everyone wondered if Number Three could really do it, but no one wanted to ask. We knew how Buddhist monks liked to teach. One minute you're cu rious, the next a bald guy is holding a bloody piece of pulsating meat in your face and you're wondering why the sudden draft in the thorax area of your robe. No thanks, we didn't need to know that badly.) Meanwhile, Joshua became so adept at avoiding blows that it was as if he'd become invisible again. Even the best fighting monks, of whom I was not one, had trouble laying a hand on my friend, and often they ended up flat on their backs on the flagstones for their trouble. Joshua seemed his happiest during these exercises, often laughing out loud as he narrowly dodged the thrust of a sword that would have taken his eye. Sometimes he would take the spear away from Number Three, only to bow and present it to him with a grin, as if the grizzled old soldier had dropped it instead of having it finessed from his grip. When Gaspar witnessed these displays he would leave the courtyard shaking his head and mumbling something about ego, leaving the rest of us to collapse into paroxysms of laughter at the abbot's expense. Even Numbers Two and Three, who were normally the strict disciplinarians, managed to mine a few smiles from their ever-so furrowed brows. It was a good time for Joshua. Meditat ion, prayer, exercise, and time with the yeti seemed to have helped him to let go of the colossal burden he'd been given to carry. For the first time he seemed truly happy, so I was stunned the day my friend entered the courtyard with tears streaming down his cheeks. I dropped the spear I was drilling with and ran to him. â€Å"Joshua?† â€Å"He's dead,† Joshua said. I embraced him and he collapsed into my arms sobbing. He was wearing wool leggings and boots, so I knew immediately that he'd just returned from one of his visits into the mountains. â€Å"A piece of ice fell from over his cave. I found him under it. Crushed. He was frozen solid.† â€Å"So you couldn't†¦Ã¢â‚¬  Joshua pushed me back and held me by the shoulders. â€Å"That's just it. I wasn't there in time. I not only couldn't save him, I wasn't even there to comfort him.† â€Å"Yes you were,† I said. Joshua dug his fingers into my shoulders and shook me as if I was hysterical and he was trying to get my attention, then suddenly he let go of me and shrugged. â€Å"I'm going to the temple to pray.† â€Å"I'll join you soon. Fifteen and I have three more movements to practice.† My sparring partner waited patiently at the edge of the courtyard, spear in hand, watching. Joshua got almost to the doors before he turned. â€Å"Do you know the difference between praying and meditating, Biff?† I shook my head. â€Å"Praying is talking to God. Meditating is listening. I've spent most of these last six years listening. Do you know what I've heard?† Again I said nothing. â€Å"Not a single thing, Biff. Now I have some things I want to say.† â€Å"I'm sorry about your friend,† I said. â€Å"I know.† He turned and started inside. â€Å"Josh,† I called. He paused and looked over his shoulder at me. â€Å"I won't let that happen to you, you know that, right?† â€Å"I know,† he said, then he went inside to give his father a divine ass-chewing. The next morning Gaspar summoned us to the tea room. The abbot looked as if he had not slept in days and whatever his age, he was carrying a century of misery in his eyes. â€Å"Sit,† he said, and we did. â€Å"The old man of the mountain is dead.† â€Å"Who?† â€Å"That's what I called the yeti, the old man of the mountain. He has passed on to his next life and it is time for you to go.† Joshua said nothing, but sat with his hands folded in his lap, staring at the table. â€Å"What does one have to do with the other?† I asked. â€Å"Why should we leave because the yeti has died? We didn't know he even existed until we had been here for two years.† â€Å"But I did,† said Gaspar. I felt a heat rising in my face – I'm sure that my scalp and ears must have flushed, because Gaspar scoffed at me. â€Å"There is nothing else here for you. There was nothing here for you from the beginning. I would not have allowed you to stay if you weren't Joshua's friend.† It was the first time he'd used either of our names since we'd arrived at the monastery. â€Å"Number Four will meet you at the gate. He has the possessions you arrived with, as well as some food for your journey.† â€Å"We can't go home,† Joshua said at last. â€Å"I don't know enough yet.† â€Å"No,† said Gaspar, â€Å"I suspect that you don't. But you know all that you will learn here. If you come to a river and find a boat at the edge, you will use that boat to cross and it will serve you well, but once across the river, do you put the boat on your shoulders and carry it with you on the rest of your journey?† â€Å"How big is the boat?† I asked. â€Å"What color is the boat?† asked Joshua. â€Å"How far is the rest of the journey?† I queried. â€Å"Is Biff there to carry the oars, or do I have to carry everything?† asked Josh. â€Å"No!† screamed Gaspar. â€Å"No, you don't take the boat along on the journey. It has been useful but now it's simply a burden. It's a parable, you cretins!† Joshua and I bowed our heads under Gaspar's anger. As the abbot railed, Joshua smiled at me and winked. When I saw the smile I knew that he'd be okay. Gaspar finished his tirade, then caught his breath and resumed in the tone of the tolerant monk that we were used to. â€Å"As I was saying, there is no more for you to learn. Joshua, go be a bodhisattva for your people, and Biff, try not to kill anyone with what we have taught you here.† â€Å"So do we get our boat now?† Joshua asked. Gaspar looked as if he were about to explode, then Joshua held his hand up and the old man remained silent. â€Å"We are grateful for our time here, Gaspar. These monks are noble and honorable men, and we have learned much from them. But you, honorable abbot, are a pretender. You have mastered a few tricks of the body, and you can reach a trance state, but you are not an enlightened being, though I think you have glimpsed enlightenment. You look everywhere for answers but where they lie. Nevertheless, your deception hasn't stopped you from teaching us. We thank you, Gaspar. Hypocrite. Wise man. Bodhisattva.† Gaspar sat staring at Joshua, who had spoken as if he were talking to a child. The old man went about fixing the tea, more feebly now, I thought, but maybe that was my imagination. â€Å"And you knew this?† Gaspar asked me. I shrugged. â€Å"What enlightened being travels halfway around the world following a star on the rumor that a Messiah has been born?† â€Å"He means across the world,† said Josh. â€Å"I mean around the world.† I elbowed Joshua in the ribs because it was easier than explaining my theory of universal stickiness to Gaspar. The old guy was having a rough day as it was. Gaspar poured tea for all of us, then sat down with a sigh. â€Å"You were not a disappointment, Joshua. The three of us knew as soon as we saw you that you were a being unlike any other. Brahman born to flesh, my brother said.† â€Å"What gave it away,† I said, â€Å"the angels on the roof of the stable?† Gaspar ignored me. â€Å"But you were still an infant, and whatever it was that we were looking for, you were not it – not yet, anyway. We could have stayed, I suppose, and helped to raise you, protect you, but we were all dense. Balthasar wanted to find the key to immortality, and there was no way that you could give him that, and my brother and I wanted the keys to the universe, and those were not to be found in Bethlehem either. So we warned your father of Herod's intent to have you killed, we gave him gold to get you out of the country, and we returned to the East.† â€Å"Melchior is your brother?† Gaspar nodded. â€Å"We were princes of Tamil. Melchior is the oldest, so he would have inherited our lands, but I would have received a small fiefdom as well. Like Siddhartha, we eschewed worldly pleasures to pursue enlightenment.† â€Å"How did you end up here, in these mountains?† I asked. â€Å"Chasing Buddhas.† Gaspar smiled. â€Å"I had heard that there lived a sage in these mountains. The locals called him the old man of the mountain. I came looking for the sage, and what I found was the yeti. Who knows how old he really was, or how long he'd been here? What I did know was that he was the last of his kind and that he would die before long without help. I stayed here and I built this monastery. Along with the monks who came here to study, I have been taking care of the yeti since you two were just infants. Now he is gone. I have no purpose, and I have learned nothing. Whatever there was to know here died under that lump of ice.† Joshua reached across the table and took the old man's hand. â€Å"You drill us every day in the same movements, we practice the same brush strokes over and over, we chant the same mantras, why? So that these actions will become natural, spontaneous, without being diluted by thought, right?† â€Å"Yes,† said Gaspar. â€Å"Compassion is the same way,† said Joshua. â€Å"That's what the yeti knew. He loved constantly, instantly, spontaneously, without thought or words. That's what he taught me. Love is not something you think about, it is a state in which you dwell. That was his gift.† â€Å"Wow,† I said. â€Å"I came here to learn that,† said Josh. â€Å"You taught it to me as much as the yeti.† â€Å"Me?† Gaspar had been pouring the tea as Joshua spoke and now he noticed that he'd overfilled his cup and the tea was running all over the table. â€Å"Who took care of him? Fed him? Looked after him? Did you have to think about that before you did it?† â€Å"No,† said Gaspar. Joshua stood. â€Å"Thanks for the boat.† Gaspar didn't accompany us to the front gate. As he promised, Number Four was waiting for us with our clothes and the money we had when we arrived six years before. I picked up the ying-yang vial of poison that Joy had given me and slipped the lanyard over my head, then I pushed the sheathed black glass dagger into the belt of my robe and tucked my clothes under my arm. â€Å"You will go to find Gaspar's brother?† Number Four asked. Number Four was one of the older monks, one of the ones who had served the emperor as a soldier, and a long white scar marked his head from the middle of his shaved scalp to his right ear, which had healed to a forked shape. â€Å"Tamil, right?† Joshua said. â€Å"Go south. It is very far. There are many dangers along the way. Remember your training.† â€Å"We will.† â€Å"Good.† Number Four turned on his heel and walked into the monastery, then shut the heavy wooden gate. â€Å"No, no, Four, don't embarrass yourself with a sappy good-bye,† I said to the gate. â€Å"No, really, please, no scenes.† Joshua was counting our money out of a small leather purse. â€Å"It's just what we left with them.† â€Å"Good.† â€Å"No, that's not good. We've been here six years, Biff. This money should have doubled or tripled during that time.† â€Å"What, by magic?† â€Å"No, they should have invested it.† He turned and looked back at the gate. â€Å"You dumb bastards, maybe you should spend a little less time studying how to beat each other up and a little more time on managing your money.† â€Å"Spontaneous love?† I said. â€Å"Yeah, Gaspar'll never get that one either. That's why they killed the yeti, you know that, don't you?† â€Å"Who?† â€Å"The mountain people. They killed the yeti because they couldn't understand a creature who wasn't as evil as they were.† â€Å"The mountain people were evil?† â€Å"All men are evil, that's what I was talking to my father about.† â€Å"What did he say?† â€Å"Fuck 'em.† â€Å"Really?† â€Å"Yeah.† â€Å"At least he answered you.† â€Å"I got the feeling that he thinks it's my problem now.† â€Å"Makes you wonder why he didn't burn that on one of the tablets. ‘HERE, MOSES, HERE'S THE TEN COMMANDMENTS, AND HERE'S AN EXTRA ONE THAT SAYS FUCK ‘EM.'† â€Å"He doesn't sound like that.† â€Å"FOR EMERGENCIES,† I continued in my perfect impression-of-God voice. â€Å"I hope it's warm in India,† Joshua said. And so, at the age of twenty-four, Joshua of Nazareth did go down into India.

Teaching Plan

CLINICAL TEACHING PLAN Name: Course and Year: BSN 3-A Class Schedule: Monday, Tuesday & Wednesday Instructor: Date of Submission: Oct. , 2011 A) Description of Learners The learners are BSN Level 3 students. The average age range is from 18- 20 years old, single and full- time students. Enrolled and registered in the said college school. The new curriculum requires them to report three days in school and three days in the clinical area for their RLE or practicum requirements following the 3/3 plan. Their exposure to the Clinical Area will enable them to practice their skills in the art and practice of rendering appropriate nursing care and intervention. To apply, practice, and enhance of what they learn in school during the return demonstration session. To help their patients become independent in health care and/ or maintenance and rehabilitation, whatever the case may be. To teach patients regarding in health teaching on how tom prevent illness and how to promote health. B) Focus of Clinical Experience Nursing care of clients who are confined in Pedia Ward who have different cases. Most belong to the lower income level. C) Setting The Pedia Ward is located beside the Nurse’s Station. It has a 10 bed capacity. D) Briefing or Orientation a) Discuss and explain the learning objectives of the RLE in the Pedia Ward. b) Discuss the requirements and specific activities during the duty hour. c) Receive the endorsement from the outgoing shift. d) Explain the nature of the evaluation and grading system as follows: i. Psychomotor: 50% * Assessment 10% * Planning and Implementation 30% Evaluation 10% ii. Affective: Attitude/ Professionalism 20% * Is neat and well- groomed 5% * Observes punctuality in all activities 5% * Is reliable, dependable and resourceful 5% * Shows composure in handling emergency/ Crisis situations 5% iii. Cognitive: Cognitive Knowledge 30% TOTAL: 100% SCHEDULE OF ACTIVITIES FIRST WEEK TIME| 1| 2| 3| :00- 8:00| Devotional (RTMDH)| Devotional (RTMDH)| Devotional (RTMDH)| 8:00- 9:00| Receive Endorsement| Receive Endorsement/| Receive Endorsement| 9:00- 10:00| Ward Orientation and Rounds| Bedside care/ Preparation of medication | Bedside care/preparation of medication| 10:00-10:30| First batch (5students)| 10:30-11:00| Second batch (6 students)| 11:00-12:00| Vital signs taking/Measuring of intake and output/Charting and Graphing| Vital signs taking / Measuring of input and output/Giving of medication| Vital signs taking/ Giving of medication/ Charting and Graphing| 12:00-1:30| Reporting| Group Discussion| Evaluation f Week Performance| 2:00- 3:30| Endorsement| Endorsement| Endorsement| 3:30- 4:00| Travel time| Travel time| Travel time| Days TIME| 4| 5| 6| 7:00- 8:00| Devotional (RTMDH)| Devotional (RTMDH)| Devotional (RTMDH)| 8:00- 9:00| Receive Endorsement/ Rounds| Receive Endorsement/ Rounds| Receive Endorsement/ Rounds| 9:00- 10:00| Bedside Care/Preparation of Medications | Bedside Care/Preparation of Medications / CBG| Bedside Care/Preparation of Medications | 10:00-10:30| First batch (6 students)| 0:30-11:00| Second bat ch (5 students)| 11:00-12:00| Vital signs taking/ Giving of Medications/ Charting and Graphing| Vital signs taking/Giving of Medication/ Charting and Graphing| Vital signs taking/ Charting and Graphing| 12:00-1:00| Measuring of intake and output | Short Quiz | Measuring of intake and output | 1:00-2:002:00-3:30 | Reporting | Reporting | Reporting | 3:30- 4:00| Travel time| Travel time| Travel time| SECOND WEEK Days THIRD WEEK Days TIME| 7| 8| 9| :00- 8:00| Devotional (RTMDH)| Devotional (RTMDH)| Devotional (RTMDH)| 8:00- 9:00| Receive Endorsement/ Rounds| Receive Endorsement/ Rounds| Receive Endorsement/ Rounds| 9:00- 10:00| Bedside care/ Health Teachings/ Preparation of Medications | Bedside care/ Procedural activities / Preparation of Medications | Bedside care/ Procedural activities/ Preparation of medication| 10:00-10:30| First batch (6 students)| 10:30-11:00| Second batch (5 students)| 1:00-12:00| Vital signs taking/CBG| Vital signs taking/ Giving of medication| Vital signs tak ing/ Giving of medication| 12:00-1:00| measuring of intake and output/Graphing/Charting| Measuring of intake and output Graphing/Charting| Measuring of intake and output/ Graphing/Charting | 1:00-2:002:00-3:30| ReportingEndorsement | ReportingEndorsement | Reporting/evaluationEndorsement | 3:30- 4:00| Travel time| Travel time| Travel time| FOURTH WEEK TIME| 10| 11| 12| 7:00- 8:00| Devotional (RTMDH)| Devotional (RTMDH)| Devotional (RTMDH)| 8:00- 9:00| Receive Endorsement/ Rounds| Receive Endorsement/ Rounds| Receive Endorsement| 9:00- 10:00| Preparation of Medication | Preparation of Medication | Rounds| 10:00-10:30| First batch (5 students)| 10:30-11:00| Second batch (6 students)| 1:00-12:00| Vital signs taking/ Giving medication/CBG| Vital signs taking/ Giving of medication/ Measuring of input and output/CBG| Vital signs taking| 12:00-1:001:00-2:00| Measuring of Intake and Output/ Graphing/ChartingGroup Discussion | Case Study Presentation/ Evaluation of NCP and Drug listPost- test | Final Evaluation of Over- all Performance Distribution of Final grades| 2:00- 3:30| Endorsement| Endorsement| Endorsement| 3:30- 4:00| Travel time| Travel time| Travel time| Days (HEALTH EDUCATION) Submitted by: Mary Angeli P. Balomit BSN 3-A Submitted to: Mrs. Carla Guilaran (Teacher)

Cancer Essay Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 1250 words - 1

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Theory and Hypothesis in Research Paper Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 500 words

Theory and Hypothesis in - Research Paper Example Because of a number of features of theory such as its internal consistency, its consistency with existing facts, its potential for making counter-intuitive prediction and because of its testability, the findings of the theory are not only relevant to theory’s explanations of events but they also help to corroborate the findings of other researchers. The hypothesis generally related with some theory has a greater chance of being correct than the common sense. Almost all scientific theories start as hypotheses. The more the theories are subjected to rigorous tests under a variety of conditions and assumptions and the more they hold up, the more credible they become over time. The relationship between the hypothesis and theory serves to challenge previously held views by introducing different sets of assumptions or more recent information besides expanding the boundaries of research by inferring new hypotheses from the theory using deductive logic and extrapolating them to new si tuations. I reviewed the research paper â€Å"Socioeconomic Status and Beliefs about God’s In?uence in Everyday Life" by Scott Schieman from the journal â€Å"The Sociology of Religion† to see how the author makes use of theory and hypothesis.

Global Sea Level to Rise as Much as 70 Feet for Future Generations Term Paper

Global Sea Level to Rise as Much as 70 Feet for Future Generations - Term Paper Example Ice sheets were missing in Greenland and in the western regions of Antarctica. The huge ice sheet covering the eastern part of Antarctica was also responsible for the increasing level of the sea. Several controversies and studies have been ongoing on an understanding of how the ice sheets melt and increase the level of the sea (Parry). The present study focuses on the issue and discussion of the rising level of the sea as much as 70 feet for the future generations, which is a matter of serious concern for the world as a whole. Global Sea Level to Rise as Much as 70 Feet for Future Generations: Research studies have reflected on the issue of increasing level of the sea in the future that may be around 40-7 feet higher than in the present times. Even if the world becomes successful in limiting the global warming on earth, yet such a possibility remains significant, as research studies have revealed. A research team had been led by Kenneth G. Miller, a professor of earth and planetary s ciences in the School of Arts and Sciences at Rutgers University, for the study of the levels of sea and the possible consequences of such a situation. The team made studies on rocks and parts of soil in the regions of Virginia, Eniwetok Atoll located in the Pacific and New Zealand, and concluded their studies (â€Å"Global Sea Level Likely to Rise as Much as 70 Feet for Future Generations†). ... This situation has the capability of affecting the lives of almost 70 percent of the world population. It has also been estimated that such melting of the ice sheets would require hundreds to thousands of years of time. The existing course for the 21st century global increase of sea level is 2 to 3 feet owing to oceans warming up, partial melting of mountain glaciers, and partial melting of Greenland and Antarctica (â€Å"Global Sea Level Likely to Rise as Much as 70 Feet for Future Generations†). Miller in his studies also focused on the fact that the great ice sheets in the earth are highly sensitive to changes in temperatures. Hence even a mild change in temperature has the ability to increase the levels of the sea to greater extents. According to him, with the present levels of carbon dioxide, the natural condition of the earth reflects sea levels that are up to 20 meters higher than normal state (â€Å"Global Sea Level Likely to Rise as Much as 70 Feet for Future Generat ions†). Antarctic and Greenland are the only ice sheets that are present in the current times. The ice sheet of the Antarctica has been found to be the largest ice sheet on earth representing a single piece of ice mass. The ice sheet of Greenland occupies about 82% of the plane of Greenland. Melting of this ice sheet might cause increase in sea levels by as much as 7.2 metres. The rate of melting of the Greenland ice sheet has been found to be about 239 cubic kilometres in a year on average (â€Å"Ice Sheet†). Sea Level and the Climate on Earth: The global rise in the level of the sea has been found to have a significant linkage with the climate on the earth. In the last 100 years, the climate of the earth has been increased by 1

Quantitative Techniques for Business Case Study Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 750 words

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Christian Dior's existing and recommended luxury brand strategies Assignment

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Avatar Essay Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 750 words

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Plot the overcoat - Essay Example (Graffy, 2000) The story entails an exposition that defines the initial premise of the story and Akakiy’s character, a passive civil servant, who is highly skilled in what he does but due to his appearance and aloof nature is often mocked by his superiors and inferiors alike. The focus of the story is then shifted towards Akakiy’s overcoat that has immense significance in the story to the protagonist because the coat was symbolic of social acceptance and a new life for him. However, the overcoat also serves as the main source of conflict and complication in the story, as all the other characters of the story do not understand the significance of the coat to Akakiy. Other characters deem it as an ordinary object, which on the other hand was symbolic of social acceptance for Akakiy as mentioned earlier. Akakiy’s old overcoat is ragged and does not really help to protect Akakiy from the icy cold weather of St. Petersburg.

Discussion Questions Essay Example for Free

Discussion Questions Essay DQ #1: Select a small business that you may want to start. What is strategic management and planning? Why would a strategic plan be important to the success of this business? How are the four functions of management relative to creating and implementing a strategic plan? I want to start an e-commerce sales business. The strategic management and planning guidelines for this kind of business include the following: Planning As an owner, I will analyze the direction the organization will go and create core objectives for the business. The objectives will help the company stay on track and assist in any unexpected developments that may arise down the road and short-term and long-term goals are designed. Organizing We will analyze our resources and determine the volume of products to purchase and the individual cost to generate profits. We will also review how many employees will be needed. Directing Our managers will be tasked with the responsibility of encouraging positive behavior from employees to create production that leads to higher profitable margins. Managers will implement a reward system for consistent high producers. Controlling The entire team will survey the operation and gauge areas that may require improvements or adjustments to maximize sales volumes. The team will also use the same goals and objectives that were previously established to review any issues or concerns and confirm that any negative feedback that may have been received is addressed. A strategic plan would be very necessary and important for this business to solidify a position in the e-commerce industry where customers can shop for quality products and the company will earn profits, while instilling great customer service. The four functions of management are relative to creating and implementing a strategic plan so all areas are balanced and functioning in conjunction with the expectations of the business. DQ #2: What is the difference between mission and vision statements? What factors must be considered to produce an appropriate mission and vision statement for an organization? Vision and mission statements various phrases that a company uses to describe or state their values, direction, integrity position, beliefs and style. The difference between the vision and mission statement is that the mission statement defines the purpose, goals and objectives of a business. The mission statement also explains the impact the business will have on the community. The vision statement speaks more to the values of the organization, explains the purpose of the achievements, and outlines how things should be done as the goals and objectives are being followed. In order to produce an appropriate mission and vision statement the business should focus on elements that build trust among potential consumers that will help them to understand the primary facets from which the business plans to operate. Some key variables are the quality of products and services that will be delivered, the contribution to the community, and the ethical position that will be the foundation of good business behaviors

Evaluation of a multiprofessional community stroke team Essay Example for Free

Evaluation of a multiprofessional community stroke team Essay The study aims to conclusively evaluate how effective it is to employ a specialist community stroke team for the rehabilitation of stroke victims in a community based setting. This is clearly established at within the opening lines of the article. In the summary at the beginning of the article the author claims that the available evidence is inconclusive and his aim is to provide conclusive proof with regards to evidence based practise for the patient. A research article should state its’ aims clearly and should assume the audience has no previous background knowledge (Greenhalg, 2006). The literature reviewed in this article was from a variety of sources such as the Cochrane database and a selection of journal articles. On this basis the authors were able to deduce that previous research carried out provided contradicting reports. For example Roderick et al (2001) as cited by Lincoln et al (2004) found no significant difference in the effectiveness of rehabilitation which had taken place in the home to that which had occurred in a hospital setting. On the contrary Gladman et al (1993) as cited by Lincoln et al (2004) found a significant difference in a small group of younger patients. It was also suggested that there was a shift of focus from mainly hospital based rehabilitation to community based rehabilitation of stroke patients. According to Polger and Thomas (2008) a literature review should provide appropriate background information. That is, it should show the current knowledge level in that area of study. The author appears to have utilised much of his own previous work in the study and some are more than ten years old. This could possibly be an indication that indeed, there is a large gap in knowledge of this subject area. On the other hand it may indicate that the author has done a selective search of the literature. A quantitative approach was utilised in this study and the method used was a Randomised Controlled Trial (RCT). The articles’ methodology was well documented. According to Sim and Wright (2000) an analytic study attempts to quantify the relationship between two factors, that is, the effect of an intervention or exposure on an outcome. A term used to describe the design randomized controlled trial according to Greenhalgh (2006) is Parallel group comparison. This is when each group receives a different treatment and both are entered into the experiment at the same time. By comparing the groups an analysis is provided. In the Lincoln et al (2004) study Participants were divided into two groups, A and B with the former receiving routine care while the latter received the intervention – rehabilitation with the multi-professional community stroke team. The question posed by the authors could have been answered using a qualitative approach. The question could possible state; Evaluation of a multiprofessional community stroke team: a phenomenological study. SAMPLE Altman (1991) states that a study should have enough participants recruited in order to detect a significant effect if one exists. The sample group consisted of patients referred to the Nottingham Community Stroke Team who had suffered a stroke within the last two years, who were over sixteen years old and needed intervention from more than one multidisciplinary team member. Patients who lived outside the geographical area and/or had been treated by the community stroke team in the preceding two years were excluded. Four hundred and twenty eight patients were randomly selected at the start of the trial and randomly allocated to either Group A or Group B. An error resulted in seven people being recruited twice. This error was corrected by including only the outcome of their initial recruitment when the results were being analyzed. The target population of this study is relatively clearly defined (patients who have had a stroke within last two years, over the age of sixteen, etc ) and lends credence to the external validity of the study (Payton, 1994). According to Sim and Wright (2000) the accessible population is the portion of the target population that is available to the researcher and the sample is then taken from this accessible population. The groups are similar to each other with regards to gender and age distribution; this also increases the validity of the study as this similarity reduces the variables of the study. The overall population was a convenience sample which was then randomized to two groups. Six months after randomization all the patients were sent a letter asking them to consent to being in a study to evaluate the input of a community stroke team. According to Lincoln et al (2004) the consent forms and outcome questionnaires were sent this late so as to reduce bias. It was thought that group A which was receiving routine care would have lower expectations if confronted with the realization that the alternate group may receive superior care. Some would possibly insist on being referred to the specialist community stroke team The Local Research Ethics Committee granted ethical approval for this study to go ahead. This indicates that the value of the research undertaken outweighed any harm that this consenting method may have caused as patients in Group A were still receiving routine care. However, the department of health has issued guidelines which state that participants must be consented and all pertinent information given prior to the start of any study. Data was collected via a questionnaire comprising of the Barthel Index, Extended ADL, General Health Questionnaire 12 (GHQ-12) and Euroquol. The participants were also asked to rate their knowledge of the expected extent of recovery from their stroke, and their overall satisfaction with the services they received from the community stroke team. The use of a questionnaire for data collection has both negative and positive aspects. Greenhalgh (2006) states that a questionnaire is an instrument used to measure human psychology, so whilst sending the questionnaire via post proves to be cost effective as the alternative would be to hold face to face interviews with the participants as focus groups or individually, it raises concerns about the reliability of the study. This is because the researcher is not present to interpret facial expressions and body language when the participants answer the questions. The alternative of conducting face to face interviews with such a large number of participants would prove to be costly and time consuming. However, according to Oppenheim (2003) long questionnaires are sometimes off putting and may generate low response rates, conducting these questionnaires via the postal service could possibly increase the likelihood of a low response rate. The results were shown as a table and diagram, the Mann-Whitney U-test which was used to compare the groups showed no significant differences on independence in personal or instrumental activities of daily living or on the patients’ mood. There was also no significant difference between the groups in their knowledge with regards to the resources available to assist them in adjusting to life after a stroke. There was also no difference between the two groups with overall satisfaction or in satisfaction with the practical helped received. However, patients in the Community Stroke Team were significantly more satisfied with the emotional care they received. (Lincoln et al, 2004) According to Wright et al (2009) the Mann-Whitney U-test is used when one group from the sample is larger than the other and when both samples are from the same population, as is the case with this study. There was no significant difference in carers’ mood between the two groups. However, the strain on carers of patients seen by the community stroke team was significantly less than that of carers of patients randomized to the routine care group. The carers of patients in the community stroke team group were significantly more satisfied with their knowledge of stroke and had higher overall satisfaction than the carers of those in the routine group. By utilizing the randomized controlled trial design the author lends credence to its validity as this design allows for the eradication of systematic bias. (Sim et al, 2000) This was done through the sampling process of selecting the participants from the target population and randomly allocating them to Group A which received routine care or Group B those in the care of the community stroke team. The collection of data by using a postal questionnaire helps to â€Å"blind† the researcher as he cannot influence the participants’ response. Although some participants did not respond to the questionnaire, others responded with incomplete forms, some died and a few were recruited twice, the author is cognizant of this and incorporates it into his findings. Crombie (2000) states that if the withdrawals and failures to respond can be seen as being consistent between both comparison groups then the results of the research will not be negatively impacted upon. This is because the results show that these failures are random among both groups and not specific to one. However one major fault is the fact that the services received by Group A were not collected due to impracticalities and unreliable recollections of the patients. Critical appraisal is not just an exercise in fault finding, it is the analysis of these faults and the assessment of their potential impact on the research which allows the reader to come to a decision regarding the strength or usefulness of the article being critiqued. In order for the research results to be utilized in clinical practice its’ reliability and validity are essential aspects which need to be covered. (Polger and Thomas, 2008) This article shows a research that was methodically sound and well designed. The sample was representative of the population being examined and attempts were made to minimize bias. The author was aware of the shortfalls of this research and attempted to incorporate this in his findings however, most of the issues identified did not affect the results of the study. The study if repeated would provide comparable results. However, the author states that the study provides evidence supporting the use of a community based stroke team to assist in the rehabilitation of stroke patients because of the increased emotional support for patients and greater satisfaction and reduced strain on carers. This statement would have been better justified on results from a qualitative study as this type of study aims to interpret people’s emotional and psychological response to the intervention or interventions being employed. The results from such a study would be closer to the patients’ and carers true feelings as the methodology behind that study would be different.

Cognitive Network Security

Cognitive Network Security Introduction: The rapid development of various communication and wireless technologies had led to ultimate spectrum insufficiency. This may cause a great spectrum extinction thereby not allowing new wireless services to be installed. To overcome this great spectrum disaster and to optimally use the underutilized bands, a new technology so called cognitiveradio evolved. This technology scampers the software programs thereby helps cognitive user to look for spectrum holes, pick the best among them, work jointly in coordination with other users and do not disturb the owner of spectrum on arrival[1].The members do stay connected in an ad-hoc manner and there is no guaranteed network architecture. This makes the privacy issues more intricate than in conventional wireless devices. [2]. The medium of transport is free air, any adulteration of data can be done without much being noticed by the sufferer and at the worst case, the data signals are even jammed. Establishing security in these networks is a ri sky task because of its inimitable quality. [4] The innate temperament of it has made it an open play ground for attackers. There are four layers in a cognitive network out of which Physical layer is the lowermost layer and various attacks are feasible here .The main focus is on attacks in these layers since it is the common layer and has same compatibility with all other devices. The rapid development of technology has led to a new attack so called Primary User Emulation Attack wherein the imitation of spiteful user as a primary transmitter occurs to deceive the secondary users and gain access over the white space. Better functioning of the Cognitive network is affected to a great extent if this Primary User Emulation Attack is severe.[3]Earlier methods and the most primitive are cyclostationary and the energy detection ones [11]. The first technique is based on the fact that the signals from primary users are periodic and do have regular cyclostationarity property. The second method involves comparison of energy level of the signal with a preset threshold. [10].These methods are already bypassed owing to the rapid growth of technology. It can be done either by impersonating the primary transmitted signal or high power signal to confuse the energy detector [9]. Thus to avoid the problem of PUEA, we need a trustable method to verify the arrival of primary user .One such method is verification of licensed user by means of biased reaction signalling[6]. The other technique involves LocDef , where we use localization technique by non interactive technique [7]. We can also use Public encryption systems thereby ensuring the trustworthy communication[5]. Primary user has a closely placed helper node which plays the role of a bridge thereby enabling of the verification of the primary user’s signals using cryptographic signatures and authentic link signatures.[8].There are hand off techniques meant for secret communication of sharing session keys between the client and the router [12]. We do add the tag for authentication in a transparent way so as no to interfere with the primary receiver but still maintain authenticity with the cognitive user. We can add this tag in parity bits of the codeword or in the modulation scheme .[13].But to make this signature embedding accurate, error control codes like convolutional codes, turbo codes or alamauti codes can be used. .A convolutional encoder is a linear predetermined-state device with n algebraic function generators and K stage shift register. The binary input data, is shifted as b bits at a time along the registers. Decoding can be done by either sequential decoding, maximum likelihood or feedback decoding[15]. In case of turbo codes, two RSC elementary codes are in a parallel organization. Maximum A Posteriori algorithm is used for decoding it in iterative process[16].In a highly noisy environments single error control codes do not have high coding gain. In order to improve this concatenated codes are preferred.[14] H ence to cope up with the FCC regulations, we proposed a method in which the authentication tag is embedded onto the data signal by the helper node after encoding and the comparative study of which concatenated codes serve the best to reduce the bit error rate has been discussed. II. PROPOSED METHOD: 2.1)HASH ALGORITHM: Procedure: Message is Padded in such a way that the length of message matches to 896 modulo 1024 . In certain cases ,the length may match yet the padding becomes additional. We do add a binary bit 1 followed by binary 0s to make the desired length. Depending upon the actual message size, we may have n number of bits padded where n=1 to 1024.We do assume that the message after padding is an unsigned integer of 128 bits and output of earlier two steps is a 1024 bit integer in order to calculate the length of message. Eight registers each of capacity to hold 64 bits (p, q, r, s, t, u, v, w) are needed to grasp the 512 bit results momentarily .This 512 bit output is carried over as an input to the consecutive stages. For the first stage, the previously stored transitional hash output is taken. On processing the padded message of 1024 bits, we get 64 bit as input per round. So to maintain the security and avoid repetitions, we do use a constant to point to the round number out of 80.After completion of 80 rounds, the final stage result is fed back to the first block until the message gets over. Thus we need (Oi-1) to produce Oi where I is the stage number. 2.2)METHOD OF EMBEDDING: We assume that the primary transmitter and the helper node share almost the same geological location and the helper node has a secret communication with the secondary users there. The primary transmitter on arrival generally transmits a data signal to its intended primary receiver. Since the primary transmitter has the highest priority and in no way it should be interfered we use the helper node to embed this security tag. The primary transmitter encodes the data sequence, modulates and transmits the signal. The data sequence after encoding is modulated and being transmitted by the primary transmitter. The helper node here repeats the signal and the hashed output is being embedded by it .Here the embedding is done in such a way that the tag to data ratio is comparatively low. Encode the data sequence to form N code words and each codeword contains p bits. We get an authentication tag by splitting the hash function output obtained earlier into p bit blocks. The tag thus obtained is su bstituted in the place of first p bits of the total N code words obtained. We do obey the regulations as per FCC since this tag embedding task is solely performed by the helper node. At the receiver end the authentication tag is retrieved and checked for authenticity. This tag verification is being done by the Cognitive Radio user upon reception since we did assume that the key for hash had been exchanged privately earlier. If verification is successful, the task is suspended and secondary user looks for any new white space. BLOCK DIAGRAM: RESULTS AND DISCUSSION: BER VALUES FOR CONVOLUTIONAL CODES: BER VALUES FOR TURBO CONVOLUTIONAL CODES: BER VALUES FOR CONVOLUTIONAL-ALAMOUTI CODES: BER VALUES FOR TURBO-ALAMOUTI CODES: REFERENCES: O. Leà ³n ,Hernà ¡ndez-Serrano, J.,Soriano, M.,. Securingcognitiveradionetworks, International Journal of Communication Systems,23: 633-652. May 2010 Parvin, S.,Han, S.,Tian, B.,Hussain, F.K, Trust-based authentication for secure communication inCognitiveRadioNetworks,International Conference on Embedded and Ubiquitous Computing, Hong Kong; China;,pp. 589-596. December 2010. Zhang, C.,Yu, R.,Zhang, Y., Performance analysis of Primary User Emulation Attack inCognitiveRadionetworks,International Wireless Communications and Mobile Computing Conference,pp.371-376. August 2012. Parvin, S.,Hussain, F.K.,Hussain, O.K.,Han, S.,Tian, B.,Chang, E., Cognitiveradionetworksecurity: A survey ,Journal of Network and Computer Applications, 35: 1691-1708. November 2012. Parvin, S.,Hussain, F.K.,Hussain, O.K, Digital signature-basedauthenticationframework incognitiveradionetworks, International Conference on Advances in Mobile Computing and Multimedia,pp.136-142. December 2012. Kumar, V.,Park, J.M.,Kim, J.,Aziz, A., Physical layerauthenticationusing controlled inter symbol interference, International Symposium on Dynamic Spectrum Access Networks,pp. 286. October 2012. Ruiliang Chen, Jung-Min Park, and Jeffrey H. Reed,Defense against Primary User Emulation Attacks in Cognitive Radio Networks,IEEE transactions on Selected areas in communication,26:25-37. January 2008. Tingting Jiang., Huacheng Zeng., Qiben Yan., Wenjing Lou.,Thomas Hou,Y, On the Limitation of Embedding Cryptographic Signature for Primary Transmitter Authentication, IEEE transactions on Wireless communication letters,1:324-327. August 2012. Chen,R.,Park,J.,Reed,J.H, Defense against primary user emulation attacks in cognitive radio networks, IEEE transactions on Selected Areas in Communications, 26:25–37. 2008. Liu,Y.,Ning,P., Dai,H, Authenticating primary users’ signals in cognitive radio networks via integrated cryptographic radio networks via integrated cryptographic and wireless link signatures,IEEE Symp. on Security and Privacy, pp. 286–301. 2010. Kim,H.,Shin,K.G, In-band spectrum sensing in cognitive radio networks: energy detection or feature detection? ,ACM international conference on Mobile computing and networking, pp.14-25. 2008. He, Y.,Xu, L.,Wu, W., A local joint fast handoff scheme incognitivewireless mesh networks , IEEE transactions on Security and Communication Networks, 7:455-465. February 2014. Xi Tan., Kapil Borle., Wenliang Du., Biao Chen, Cryptographic Link Signatures for Spectrum Usage Authentication in Cognitive Radio, ACM conference on Wireless network security,pp.79-90.2011. Avila, J.,Thenmozhi, K, DWT highlighted concatenated multi band orthogonal frequency division multiplexing (MB-OFDM)-upgraded enactment, International Journal of Engineering and Technology,5:2155-2162. June 2013. Andrew J. Viterbi, Convolutional Codes and ’Their Performance in Communication Systems , IEEE transactions on Communication Technology,19:751-772. October 1971. Claude Berrou., Alain Glavieux ,Near optimum error correcting coding and decoding-turbo codes,IEEE Transactions on communications,44:1261-1271. October 1996 Wang,X.,Wu,Y.,Caron,B, Transmitter identification using embedded pseudo random sequences, IEEE Transactions on Broadcasting,3:244-252. September 2004. Danev,B.,Luecken,H.,Capkun,Z.,Defrawy,K.E,Attacks on physical-layer identification,ACM Conference on Wireless Network Security,pp.89-97. 2010. Proakis,J.G., Salehi,M, Digital Communications.New York, McGraw-Hill, pp. 192, 434, 472-474. 2007. Chen,Z.,Cooklev,T.,Chen,C., Pomalaza-R ´aez,C, Modeling Primary User Emulation Attacks and Defences in Cognitive Radio Networks, International Performance Computing and Communications Conference,pp.208-215. 2009.

Physics of Football Essay -- physics sport sports american football

Watching a weekend football game could be teaching you something other than who threw the most passes or gained the most yards. Football provides some great examples of the basic concepts of physics! Physics is present in the flight of the ball, the motion of the players, and the force of the tackles. This web page will show you how physics applies to these areas of football. What Exactly Is Physics and What Does It Have to Do with Football? When you throw a football across the yard to your friend, you are using physics. You make adjustments for all the factors, such as distance, wind and the weight of the ball. The farther away your friend is, the harder you have to throw the ball, or the steeper the angle of your throw. This adjustment is done in your head, and it's physics. Physics is the branch of science that deals with the physical world. The area of physics that is most relevant to football is mechanics, the study of motion and its causes. The three main categories of motion that apply to the game are: * delivery of a football through the air (pass, punt, kickoff, field goal, extra point) * runners on the field (backs, receivers, linemen) * stopping runners on the field (tackling, blocking) FLIGHT OF THE BALL When the football travels through the air (long pass, punt, kickoff, field goal), it always follows a curved, or parabolic, path because the movement of the ball in the vertical direction is influenced by the force of gravity As the ball travels up, gravity slows it down until it stops briefly at its peak height, the ball then comes down, and gravity accelerates it until it hits the ground. This... ... the amount of force applied: Less force is required farther out from the center of mass than closer in. So, by tackling a runner low -- far from the center of mass -- it takes less force to tackle him than if he were tackled high. Also, if a runner is hit exactly at his center of mass, he will not rotate, but instead will be driven in the direction of the tackle. Similarly, coaches often advise linemen to stay low. This brings their center of mass closer to the ground, so an opposing player, no matter how low he goes, can only contact them near their center of mass. This makes it difficult for an opposing player to move them, because they will not rotate upon contact. This technique is critical for a defensive lineman in defending his own goal in the "red" zone, the last 10 yards before the goal line.

Mother Daughter Relationships - The Mother-daughter Relationship in Amy

Daughters and Mothers in The Joy Luck Club Children, as they become adults, become more appreciative of their parents. In The Joy Luck Club, the attitudes of four daughters toward their mothers change as the girls mature and come to realize that their mothers aren't so different after all. As children, the daughters in this book are ashamed of their mothers and don't take them very seriously, dismissing them as quirky and odd. "I could never tell my father . . . How could I tell him my mother was crazy?" (p. 117). They don't try to comprehend their culture, which is a big part of understanding their traditional Chinese mothers. On page 6, one of the daughters states, "I can never remember things I don't understand in the first place," referring to Chinese expressions her mother used. When their mothers show pride in them, the girls only show their embarrassment. One daughter shows her shame when she says to her mother, "I wish you wouldn't do that, telling everyone I'm your daughter" (p. 101). The girls cannot relate to their mothers because they were raised in a different world. No matter how much the mothers care for them or how much they sacrifice to make their girls' lives better, the daughters are blind to their mothers' pain and feelings. All four of the Joy Luck mothers need their daughters to understand them, pass on their spirit after they are gone, and understand what they have gone through for their girls. One mother dreams of doing this on her trip to a new life: "In America I will have a daughter just like me . . . over there nobody will look down on her . . . and she will always be too full to swallow any sorrow! She will know my meaning because I will give her this swan . . . it c... ...n away a long time ago to what I had imagined was a safer place. And hiding in this place, behind my invisible barriers, I knew what lay on the other side: her side attacks. Her secret weapons. Her uncanny ability to find my weakest spots. But in the brief instant that I had peered over the barriers I could finally see what was really there: an old woman, a wok for her armor, a knitting needle for her sword, getting a little crabby as she waited patiently for her daughter to invite her in. (pp. 203-204) In conclusion, as children, the daughters didn't understand their mothers or their culture. The daughters were being raised in a different world. Their perceptions of their mothers changed, though, as they grew up and realized that they weren't so different from them after all. They finally understood and respected their traditional Chinese mothers. Mother Daughter Relationships - The Mother-daughter Relationship in Amy Daughters and Mothers in The Joy Luck Club Children, as they become adults, become more appreciative of their parents. In The Joy Luck Club, the attitudes of four daughters toward their mothers change as the girls mature and come to realize that their mothers aren't so different after all. As children, the daughters in this book are ashamed of their mothers and don't take them very seriously, dismissing them as quirky and odd. "I could never tell my father . . . How could I tell him my mother was crazy?" (p. 117). They don't try to comprehend their culture, which is a big part of understanding their traditional Chinese mothers. On page 6, one of the daughters states, "I can never remember things I don't understand in the first place," referring to Chinese expressions her mother used. When their mothers show pride in them, the girls only show their embarrassment. One daughter shows her shame when she says to her mother, "I wish you wouldn't do that, telling everyone I'm your daughter" (p. 101). The girls cannot relate to their mothers because they were raised in a different world. No matter how much the mothers care for them or how much they sacrifice to make their girls' lives better, the daughters are blind to their mothers' pain and feelings. All four of the Joy Luck mothers need their daughters to understand them, pass on their spirit after they are gone, and understand what they have gone through for their girls. One mother dreams of doing this on her trip to a new life: "In America I will have a daughter just like me . . . over there nobody will look down on her . . . and she will always be too full to swallow any sorrow! She will know my meaning because I will give her this swan . . . it c... ...n away a long time ago to what I had imagined was a safer place. And hiding in this place, behind my invisible barriers, I knew what lay on the other side: her side attacks. Her secret weapons. Her uncanny ability to find my weakest spots. But in the brief instant that I had peered over the barriers I could finally see what was really there: an old woman, a wok for her armor, a knitting needle for her sword, getting a little crabby as she waited patiently for her daughter to invite her in. (pp. 203-204) In conclusion, as children, the daughters didn't understand their mothers or their culture. The daughters were being raised in a different world. Their perceptions of their mothers changed, though, as they grew up and realized that they weren't so different from them after all. They finally understood and respected their traditional Chinese mothers.

Heart Essay -- essays research papers

Coronary Artery Disease Heart Disease Heart disease can take many forms. The form of heart disease I am focusing on is coronary disease. Different arteries supply different areas of the heart with oxygenated blood. If one or more of these arteries become narrowed or clogged as a result of coronary artery disease, or atherscelorosis the artery cannot fully supply the part of the heart it is responsible for. The heart is an effective pump only when good blood supply is maintained to all heart muscles. If an artery becomes so clogged that blood cannot flow through it, the result is chest pain which could progress to a heart attack, or myocardial infarction (MI). "Myocardial" is a medical term that means "having to do with the heart" or "heart muscle". "Infarct" is a medical term for tissue death. During a myocardial infarction, the portion of the heart that is supposed to get blood from the diseased artery dies. However, cardiologists are trained to recognize symptoms like chest pain, shortness of breath, and fatigue of coronary artery disease in patients before the symptoms becomes severe. A cardiologist is often able to treat coronary disease before it causes an MI. – http://myweb.com/contents/dmk_article396168 Coronary Artery Disease Healthy arteries are flexible, strong, and elastic. Their inner layer is smooth and blood flows freely. As you get older, your arteries become thicker, less elastic, and deposits build in them. This leads to a general hardening of the arteries, which is also called atherosclerosis. Atherosclerosis or arteriosclerosis is the main cause of coronary artery disease. Atherosclerosis or arteriosclerosis is the gradual buildup of cholesterol inside the artery. When this happens in a coronary artery, the space inside the artery where blood flows becomes narrow, making it difficult for blood to flow freely. The result is less blood flow through the artery and less blood supply to heart tissue. Symptoms can include chest pain, shortness of breath, and fatigue that can be mild, or abrupt and severe, such as a heart attack. –http://www.heartpoint.com Symptoms of Coronary Disease More than 6 million Americans have symptoms due to coronary artery disease (CAD). As many as 1.5 million Americans will have a heart attack this year. As a result, almost one-third will die. The most dramatic symptom of... ... LDL and total cholesterol levels. Â · Eat only small amounts of sweets. Â · Eat 1 to 2 servings of fish or seafood each week if you have coronary artery disease. People with coronary artery disease seem to benefit from eating fish and seafood. Â · Cook with garlic. Several studies have shown that garlic reduces LDL cholesterol and lowers blood pressure. Â · Eat moderate amounts of nuts that are rich in monounsaturated fat, like hazelnuts, almonds, pecans, cashews, walnuts and macadamia nuts. These nuts have been shown to improve cholesterol levels. Avoid eating nuts by the handful. Instead, garnish food with one tablespoon of chopped nuts per person. What else can I do if I have coronary artery disease? Besides changing your diet, you should talk to your doctor about an exercise program that's right for you. If you smoke, quit. If you're overweight, try to lose weight (changing your diet and exercising will help you lose weight). Talk with your doctor about reducing other risk factors, such as high blood pressure or diabetes. – Dr. Donnely; Cody Family Practice Center